The Effort of Change: Self-Reflection for Leadership Growth

How much of yourself today is the same as last week, a year ago, or when you were a child? We often overlook how we evolve, but this subtle and profound change shapes our identity and growth.

As a leader, I believe in embracing this transformation. I pursue inspiring leadership through principles that challenge the status quo, foster gratitude, engage others, focus on priorities, have reasonable expectations, and share my learnings.

That last point is why I'm writing today.

While I strive to be an inspiring leader, sometimes my choices differ from what might be seen as "ideal." Yet, sharing those less-than-perfect outcomes keeps me authentic and vulnerable.

Through this openness, I am continuously improving, and I hope that by sharing my journey, I can help others find their way forward, too.

Mistakes are welcome; repeating them is not.

Why Mistakes Are Essential to Leadership Growth

The best challenges to surpass are those that teach us new habits and align us with who we are or want to become—like how we manage to sleep, engage people, or handle adversity.

For example, my first principle of demonstrating respect is maintaining a calm presence. I didn't always know how to do that. After 40 years of being a hothead, I realized raising my voice wasn't helping anyone.

Though I still feel the urge to get loud, I've learned to find calm before speaking. 90 seconds of deep breathing has become a go-to tool for acknowledging emotion and reaching a clearer frame of mind when things get tough.

These small, seemingly insignificant choices—like pausing before reacting—have led to powerful changes, turning major roadblocks into mere speedbumps in my life.

My Greatest Leadership Failure and How Meditation Helped

It took a few years to realize that December 2010 was my greatest failure.

At that time, I was responsible for merging Axelerant into Srijan. The companies had differing attitudes and management styles despite their similar industries and national cultures. I failed to acknowledge those differences and didn't create a unified vision for leadership, which caused friction.

After five months of pushing others without seeing the expected changes, I lost my temper in front of people I deeply respected.

At that moment, I was the person I detested most.

Since then, I've adopted daily meditation, which helps me reflect on life's events and how to create positive change. This practice has helped me evolve into a servant leader who resonates with their team rather than assumes authority.

Today, I strive to breathe calmly, stay mindful of my intentions, and remember why I do what I do. These moments of reflection bring clarity, helping me make better decisions and stay true to my values.

Over time, hard choices have become easier, leading to a simpler life because my ideal self-affirmations provide a decision-making framework I can rely on.

How Daily Reflection Helps Overcome Leadership Struggles

Some days, I make choices that don't align with my better self. The struggle remains whether I indulge in a pint of Southern pecan caramel ice cream before bed or revert to old habits. But reflection helps me recognize these patterns.

For example, I've learned that when evening cravings hit, drinking a glass of water or brushing my teeth by 7 PM helps me avoid late-night snacks. It's a small habit, but thinking, "My teeth are already brushed," is often enough to hold off until the next morning.

The emotional and mental struggles leading up to my divorce from a 20-year relationship were among the toughest challenges I've faced. Yet, through that painful break, I've found an incredible life partner who has shared the last four years with me.

Ultimately, challenging the status quo—even when it hurts—leads to greater opportunities.

Living Fully: A Journey of Leadership and Personal Evolution

My purpose is to live fully and continuously evolve. While life has provided comfort, I crave more curiosity, depth, and opportunities to explore the unknown.

That might mean eating weird foods, hiking new places, traveling slowly, or discovering new ways to challenge myself beyond the familiar.

I'll succeed by continuing to reflect deeply, ask for help, and share what I learn along the way. By doing so, I hope to inspire others to embrace their own journeys of growth and self-discovery, proving that each step—however small—brings us closer to who we truly are.